MaineGoulart: The Life of a Single Dad

Untitled.

It looks like you’ve been ashing on your dashboard

And breathing deep, with the windows closed tight

Smoke chokes the air with each fleeing breath

And your eyes are the color of red

You wake at the ass-crack of noon

In January, where the night time comes soon

You blame it all on the night before

I’m afraid I was made out like a fool

So what about this time will be different?

What makes you think it’s going to change?

I can hear your tires burning up the pavement

I can see your days are remaining the same

Your boots can’t handle the walking

and my mouth just won’t seem to stop talking

So I didn’t mean to say the things that I said

But I bet you ten bucks I’d say them again

Those energy drinks saved your life again

From falling asleep in your chair

I see the bottle half full of sin again

And the memories, I’m trying to repair

So what about this time will be different?

What makes you think its going to change?

I can hear your tires burning up the pavement

I can see your days are remaining the same

You remember the guy you left with that time?

Are you trying to recall his last name?

You say that you remember me falling down on the ground

It all turns out to be the same

So what about this time will be different

What makes you think its going to change?

I can hear your tires burning up the pavement

I can see your days remain the same

King me

I saw the world through the lens of a pinhole camera

I saw nothing, I was blind

In between a black hole and a supernova is where you’ll find me

Imploding and expanding simultaneously 

No longer blind

All of that is ending now, for I have arisen 

Survived myself somehow, dead and imprisoned

I’m fighting to live, if I am to see the day

I swear I’ll never sleep again

For I am no man’s slave

I wanted the fog to lift but I was living in a cloud

Nostalgia is grinding the life from today

The present always dies in future memories

And King me, is killing me.

Goodbye too tomorrow.

My life has been nothing but a roller coaster, filled with ups and downs. Lately my roller coaster has been plunging downward only. How far will this go before either it hits the wall or turns around and heads back up? I doubt that it even will. When the world seems against you, you can only stand your ground for so long before you fall over, and right now my legs are awfully sore. Relying on the security of the past is like saying hello to yesterday and goodbye to tomorrow.

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The older I get, the more I realize that age doesn’t bring wisdom. It only brings weary. I’m not any smarter than I was 30 years ago. I’ve just grown too tired to juggle the lies and hide the fears. Self-awareness doesn’t reveal my indiscretions; exhaustion does.

The Gyre.

In 1992, a shipping container fell overboard on its way from China to the United States, losing 29,000 rubber ducks in the Pacific Ocean. Ten months later, the first of these rubber ducks was washed ashore on the Alaskan Coast. Since then, these ducks have been found in Hawaii, South America, Australia, and travelling slowly inside the Arctic Ice. But 2,000 of the ducks were caught up in the North Pacific Gyre. A vortex of currents moving between Japan, Alaska, the Pacific Northwest and the Aleutian Islands.

 Items that get caught in the gyre usually stay in the gyre. Doomed to travel the same path, forever circling in the same waters, but not always. Their paths can be altered by a change in the weather, a storm at sea, a chance encounter with a pod of whales, Twenty years after the rubber ducks were lost at sea, they are still arriving on beaches around the world. And the number of ducks in the gyre has decreased, which means it’s possible to break free, even after years of circling the same waters. It’s possible to find a way to shore.

Nothing but the best.

Since the birth of my son I’ve been kicking around the idea of a song for him. I’ve been known to write a song here and there and if anyone is deserving of a song it’s him. The problem is you see, how do I express my love for him through words? The love I have for him is indescribable and words will not promote any justice. The music for the song is the easy part, but when thinking about words all I come up with his lint. I’m not trying to be sappy but it’s gotta happen. Something we can learn and play together when he gets older, and who knows maybe it will inspire him to play and write. He’s so smart for his age it amazes me and really the sky is the limit for him. He deserves nothing but the best…